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Watching someone you care about go through the grieving steps is incredibly difficult. You want to be there for them in the right way, and offer comfort and support. However, that is easier said than done. Grief has the tendency to feel incredibly overwhelming. For the person experiencing it first hand, but secondly for the loved ones trying to support them. If you’re unsure on the best way to help someone who’s grieving, you’re not alone. In this guide, we offer gentle, practical advice to help you show up with kindness and understanding throughout the process. We will cover everything from understanding the grieving steps to help you better support them, what not to say, comforting gestures, and thoughtful ways to honour their loved one.
One of the most important things to do to is to understand the grieving steps and where they come into play with the stages of grief. The commonly recognised stages are as follows:
While it’s definitely necessary to understand these steps, it’s important to note that grief is not a linear process. Therefore, your loved one may not go through these stages in this order. Its also certainly likely that they may revisit previous stages, and that is completely normal. Throughout this time, your patience and time will be incredibly valuable. Over the course of these grieving steps, encouraging your loved one to invest in self-care (rest, eating nutritious foods, and engaging in activities) and just simply being an ear to listen can be incredibly helpful.
Knowing what to say when someone is grieving can be tricky. When supporting someone who is grieving ensure you focus on empathy and also offer them practical help. For example, acknowledge the pain that they’re feeling. Let them know that you are there for them in any way they need. For instance, this could be someone to talk to, listen, or even just be present.
Here are a few grieving quotes that will help you know what to say.
When supporting someone who is grieving, its vital to not minimise their feelings and in turn, make presumptions about their journey. Phrases such as ‘I know how you feel’, ‘they’re in a better place,’ or ‘you’ll get over it’ can be condescending and unhelpful. Alternatively, ensure to focus on showing empathy, offering practical support and allow them to express their grief without judgement throughout each of the grieving steps.
Honouring a loved one can help your loved one throughout the grieving steps. This involves creating lasting memories and celebrating their life through a range of various activities. For example, planting a tree, donations and floral tributes, or sharing stories and photos. It can also be a welcomed gesture to make their favourite meal, or visiting a place they loved can also be very meaningful.
Grief doesn’t follow a set timeline, and everyone experiences it differently. When supporting a grieving loved one, your patience and kindness can mean more than you know. No matter what you do, these small acts can help.
